Favorite Quotes

Light a fire for a man and hes warm for a day. Set a man on fire, hes warm for the rest of his life- Terry Pratchett

BAM
BANGG
BOOM
ZAPP!

"Dance like nobody's watching; love like you've never been hurt. Sing like nobody's listening; live like it's heaven on earth."

Mark Twain

"Balls To That"

Luke Mkay

procrastination is like masturbation its fun until you realize you're screwing yourself

this is the only poem i have and ever will like


Love is a temptation
that starts with a sensation
when a guy stick's his location
in a girls destination
to increase the population
for the next generation
do you get my explaination
or do you need a demonstration?

These are some real quotes that actually happened. i dont remember the exact word so i improvised a little, but the gist of the convo is still there

"This is spartan 117. I'm gonna end this fight"

"Halo 3 is a lot like porn. You'd love to actually be doing it, but watching is just as good"- me (talking to my friend about getting an xbox 360)

"Me: WTF??? you've been to jail and been anal'd in the shower?
Richard: i've never been to jail
Richard: i dont like anal
Khron: So you've tried it?
Richard: No
Me: khron, If you went to jail, youd be dropping the soap on purpose. the first 25 times they would enjoy it, after that, they might get a little suspicious. maybe think your enjoying it too much"

"Khron: Yah Sam and i love to bunt together, hes my buddy, we tear them dead bodies right apart"
me: just because you have a blow up doll of me doesnt mean i go out and bunt with you. im not a necrophiliac, unlike someone who's talking to me.
Richard: That only happened once"

"Emma: Im touching khron's boobies
Emma: Sam you feeling left out? want me to help that?
Me: I have Pecs, not b00bies.
Richard: MOOBIES!!!!!!!!"

“There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.”

uh...........huh.........

LOL, funny i know. mercedes isnt my first choice ever. i woulda chosen an orange Lamborghini Mercialogo, but w/e LOL

LEEROY JEEEEEENKINSSSS

and so the rabbi said...

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